You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
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When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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