Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
