Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
