sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
My vagina is officially offended.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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