apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
