in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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