So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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