Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
