explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
