these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
