we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
