I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
