Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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