You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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