never play flip cup with pint glasses
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
