shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
