I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
