I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
