I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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