matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
sarcasm needs its own font
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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