So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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