God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
