just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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