She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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