I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
