I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
