So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
this boner is exhausting
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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