YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
