Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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