we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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