Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
