he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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