So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
She made me pour olive oil on her.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
