This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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