Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
