No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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