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• (917): View more from New York City

  Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.

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• (661): View more from California

  May God have mercy on my new vibrator.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (361): View more from Texas

  I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat

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• (607): View more from New York

  I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?

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• (435): View more from Utah

  Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (530): View more from California

  She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.

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• (909): View more from California

  An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police

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• (281): View more from Texas

  I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.

  (713): View more from Texas

  That's okay. He needs friends too.

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