Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building. http://tfl.nu/he38
  Replies (5) Good night (1035) Bad night (2005)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time. http://tfl.nu/xhpk
  Replies (45) Good night (906) Bad night (2396)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD" http://tfl.nu/zg6m
  Replies (29) Good night (1150) Bad night (4693)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me? http://tfl.nu/hd4u
  Replies (66) Good night (4252) Bad night (822)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I need a leather bustier to keep them in.

  (925): View more from California

  Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): I need a leather bustier to keep them in. (925): Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that. http://tfl.nu/8m96
  Replies (26) Good night (6184) Bad night (834)
• Favorite

  (+07): View more from

  tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+07): tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance? http://tfl.nu/7v50
  Replies (34) Good night (5359) Bad night (1000)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up.... http://tfl.nu/s81o
  Replies (66) Good night (13310) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner http://tfl.nu/h4oj
  Replies (4) Good night (2245) Bad night (1082)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys. http://tfl.nu/c88u
  Replies (2) Good night (3159) Bad night (1516)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!! http://tfl.nu/8r5y
  Replies (14) Good night (1490) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time. http://tfl.nu/b5xq
  Replies (5) Good night (1204) Bad night (477)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors! http://tfl.nu/muzx
  Replies (3) Good night (1060) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud. http://tfl.nu/9n74
  Replies (5) Good night (1057) Bad night (464)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept http://tfl.nu/07xi
  Replies (5) Good night (504) Bad night (1103)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  We were licking ciroc off the poker table

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): We were licking ciroc off the poker table http://tfl.nu/515k
  Replies (0) Good night (278) Bad night (643)

Randomize