Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.

(1-248): View more from Michigan

RUDE.

(248): View more from Michigan

I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.

(1-248): View more from Michigan

outsmarted mickey deeeees

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(248): do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions. (1-248): RUDE. (248): I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o. (1-248): outsmarted mickey deeeees http://tfl.nu/mqmo

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(585): View more from New York

it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.

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(585): it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident. http://tfl.nu/668s

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap

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(603): just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap http://tfl.nu/im6h

Replies (11) Good night (2325) Bad night (675) Order T-Shirt
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(323): View more from California

I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.

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(323): I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village. http://tfl.nu/cmft

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(303): View more from Colorado

True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back

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(303): True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back http://tfl.nu/1qlt

Replies (16) Good night (7194) Bad night (833) Order T-Shirt
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(201): View more from New Jersey

You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.

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(201): You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality. http://tfl.nu/6ws6

Replies (26) Good night (1351) Bad night (3804) Order T-Shirt
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(423): View more from Tennessee

I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.

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(423): I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger. http://tfl.nu/nz2t

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(973): View more from New Jersey

i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.

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(973): i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun. http://tfl.nu/edf8

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(404): View more from Georgia

FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.

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(404): FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall. http://tfl.nu/m2zy

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(309): View more from Illinois

they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.

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(309): they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy. http://tfl.nu/yj0s

Replies (5) Good night (3906) Bad night (1369)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea

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(423): Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea http://tfl.nu/mhka

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.

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(484): she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard. http://tfl.nu/xcqc

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(510): View more from California

I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.

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(510): I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English. http://tfl.nu/sei7

Replies (4) Good night (1316) Bad night (360)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is

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(262): My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is http://tfl.nu/wa13

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(720): View more from Colorado

Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.

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(720): Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage. http://tfl.nu/0rvw

Replies (1) Good night (187) Bad night (457) Order T-Shirt

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