Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.

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(509): View more from Washington

I want to make a zoo with you.

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(619): View more from California

DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES

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(309): View more from Illinois

so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.

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These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Read it at the TFLN blog
(864): View more from South Carolina

If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"

(1-864): View more from South Carolina

as in "white"?

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(205): View more from Alabama

you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!

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(336): View more from North Carolina

the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.

(336): View more from North Carolina

"people in the room" being me.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem

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