if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
