so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
