I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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