Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
