marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
