I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
