we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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