every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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