Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
