I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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