Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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