I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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