sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.