You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
