I understand Curling. That high.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.