I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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