If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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