Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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