I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
