So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
