I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize