You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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